Growing up with red hair pretty much sucks – at least as a boy. You’re different than just about everyone else, which means you get teased alot. Strangers stare at you, which contributes to this feeling that you’re always near the center of attention. I imagine it’s like being Doogie Howser. You’re just doing your thing and everyone who sees you wonders if you’re for real.

Things have pretty much leveled out as I’ve grown up (not that I know what it’s like to not have red hair). The teasing has all but stopped, and what still remains is nowhere near as bad as what blonds have to put up with. I think people are staring less too, but maybe I’m just used to it. Still every now and then I’m reminded I’m different

I’ve been reading this book for Book Club. It’s called Freakonomics. This author, Steven Levitt, seems to have some pretty compelling insight  about cultural trends and the way society seems to work. He explores life as an inner-city drug dealer, ties the decline of criminal activity to legalized abortion, and posits that good parenting has less to do with good parenting than we might think.

At one point, Mr. Levitt talks about a study of online daters that reveals information about the disparity between what people say they like and what people’s actions say they like.

For men, being short is a big disadvantage . . . but weight doesn’t much matter. For women, being overweight is deadly. . . . For a man, having red hair or curly hair is a downer, as is baldness–but a shaved head is okay. For a woman, salt-and-pepper hair is bad, while blond hair is very good (Levitt, 83).

I knew it! I’m fighting an uphill battle here! I’d be better off with a shaved head (except knowing the shape of my head, I’m sure I’d be worse).

I know there are women out there who actually have a thing for red headed guys. I’ve dated a couple of them. They were great! But for the other 98% of the population I’m starting with a disadvantage from the moment they see me coming (statistics may not be accurate). I really hope this handicap is an easy one to overcome, but experience thus far would tell me otherwise.

Needless to say, I was pretty hungry by the time I got home. I didn’t have any hearty, ready-made meals sitting around, so I had to settle for what I could find. I made a sandwich to ease the strongest hunger pains, but knew I’d have to go right back for more. I found some pasta that I’d cooked up a few nights ago, but I only had about a tablespoon’s worth of sauce. What I did have was pizza sauce.

Pizza sauce, marinara sauce – how different could they be? There’s a strong tomato base and a bunch of seasonings mixed in for good flavor. I mean, come one, they both come from Italy! One Italian red sauce is as good as another, right? I mixed in some of the left-over pizza sauce.

Don’t ever do that. Seriously, it’s not good. Even as I was mixing them together I was second-guessing my choice. I ate the whole thing, even after I decided I didn’t like it. I was hungry. What was I supposed to do?

Only Websites does, well, websites. They make websites. The trouble is, they don’t make good websites, and I hate being affiliated with shoddy work.

Only Websites was eating away at my soul.

They’re not completely honest with customers either. They sign up clients for something they call the “$500-a-month club” – charging $500 a month to optimize a site for prime placement on Google. That would actually be a great deal, but the promised optimization never takes place.

The employees have it rough too. They’re underpaid and have to fight for any unpaid time off they get. They’re so overloaded with projects that any one of the developers could be busy for a month even if no new sales were made. Even with that load, they’re asked to take pay cuts and reduce their hours (they’re often let go) to save on payroll expenses, all while working in the basement of the owner’s multi-million dollar home while the owner’s family takes vacations at the beach.

On Monday I go to work for CambioLabs. There may not be health benefits, but I believe them when they say they’re working on it. I don’t know what the work environment will be like, but I know they have some big clients and they turn out a good product. I haven’t even been there one day and they’ve already taken me to lunch. I also hear there’s a new laptop waiting for me.

I think this is going to be good for my soul.

I had a birthday a couple days ago. I didn’t plan any sort of party or get-together. I was too busy with more important matters during the week to give it too much thought. My friends did want to show their love, and that’s when the cupcakes came.

Home Grown

We were going to have treats at work, partially for my birthday and partially for Valentine’s Day. Tacia, who’s passion for baking is stronger than anyone I know, wanted to bring in treats that were decidedly me. I had no idea what to expect.

Courtesy: Alan Richardson - Woman's Day

Vegetable-topped cupcakes! But those aren’t normal veggies (can you imagine?). Those are bits of candy and frosting shaped and molded into sweet imitations of their nutritious counterparts. After eating carrots at work for months and bringing in my best attempts at healthy lunches, I was honored to be personified by these treats.

Just for Men

My Aunt Cindy and my cousins Maureen and Mary just happened to be in town that day, dress shopping for Mary’s upcoming wedding. They stopped by to see me and had with them the fanciest cupcake I’d ever been given.

Mine was Peanut Butter and Chocolate (on the top left). Courtesy: The Sweet Tooth Fairy

They told me the bakery had said that this particular kind of cupcake was the most popular cupcake sold to men. My family had clearly done their homework. I am a man.

I resisted the urge to dive into it while we talked around the kitchen table, but I sure enjoyed it shortly after they had continued on their way. It was so good to see them and I was touched that they were able to take some time out of their schedule to come and see me.

Late Night Snack

As the night wound down I was playing a round ofn Killer Bunies (thanks Sean and Cassey) with the roomies and nabes. There was a knock at the door and there was Jessica, dressed super fancy with a small box in hand. She’d just come from the temple and wanted to bring me a little gift before bed.

Jessica brought be the Better Than Whatever Cake (in the middle on the top). Courtesy: The Cocoa Bean Cupcake Café

It looked like upscale hot chocolate and whipping cream, but in cupcake form! Topher tried to sneak a peek at it in the box the next day, but it was too late. It was good.

Thoughts

So where did all this cupcake love come from? I’ve never thought of getting anyone cupcakes for a special occasion, but it’s probably because I’ve never seen cupcakes nearly as cool as the ones I received for my birthday. This is one foodie fad I can certainly get on board with.

I have tons of ambitions.

• Run my own business
• Help other people through that business
• Purchase a home
• Be a good father
• Many others that are more like “goals” (write a screenplay, write a song, etc)

I think ambitions (and things a person is doing to achieve these ambitions) make a person interesting. You find out what interests that person — what they think about, and what they crave. You find out so much about a person.

How do you find these things out though? Are these ambitions supposed to come up in casual conversation? Should I be introducing myself by saying, “Hello. I’m David. I’m from the Palm Springs/Palm Desert area and one day I hope to run a business that will help its customers and employees improve their lives in meaningful ways.”

That just sounds wrong. That kind of stuff should come up naturally with time, right?

Maybe I’m looking at this “ambition” thing the wrong way. Maybe it’s not an ambition until you’re committed to it, and if you’re committed to something, it’s going to be a much bigger part of your life than someone someone has to wait weeks or months to find out. It should be apparent within days of knowing you.

Well that’s my problem. There are so many things I want to do that I have trouble committing to just one. It’s not that I don’t know what to do with my life. I don’t know what not to do with my life — so much so that I may actually end up doing nothing. Maybe without commitment, I have no ambition.

Reaction

What I find interesting is the way people are responding to this new product. I’d expect all the Apple die-hards to fall in love at first sight, and many people have, but on message board after message board I’m seeing disappointment spread across the screen. Are these Apple-haters taking advantage of this unproven product with admittedly questionable viability? Are these actual Mac converts that are realizing that no one can hit a home run every time?

The Supporters

What really surprises me is the way in which the faithful support this new addition to the Apple family. The most valid, and therefore most championed, battle cry of the iPad is this:

“Most people only use their laptops for surfing the web, check email, and watching videos. It does exactly what people need without all the extra junk that makes a laptop complicated to use.”

Who are these “most people”? I don’t know them.

Laptops in the Real World

The people I know use their laptops to shop online. In another tab they’ve got Facebook open and they’re chatting with their friends about what car to buy. Sometimes they’ve got iTunes playing music in the background. Sometimes, if they’re serious, they’re compiling all the information they find in a spreadsheet to help them compare all the best deals.

The people I know use their laptops to check email, but only while doing something else. Maybe they’re writing a paper. They’ve got PDFs open for reference material and web pages open to find more reference material. Every now and then they have to pop open a calculator and crunch some numbers, and more often than not there’s some sort of chat mechanism open somewhere too.

The people I know use their laptops to watch videos. If they’re checking out YouTube, it’s because they were on Facebook (while shopping for shoes) and someone sent them a link. Otherwise, they watch their serious video on Hulu (no iPhone/iPod Touch/iPad App).

It’s true, people really do just use their laptops for surfing the web, consuming media, and a little productivity sprinkled here and there, but they key word is “and”. With the iPad it’s “or”.

The Return of the Desktop

The second most common sentiment I’ve heard is that of buying a desktop and using the iPad as their “laptop-like” mobile device. That means people would have to come home to their desktop any time they wanted to do something meaningful (or even two meaningless things at once). I thought the love of portability was why the desktop market has been shrinking.

Please don’t tell me you’ll get a laptop and an iPad then. There really is no need for that sort of silliness.

The iPad’s Niche

I cannot imagine my college-aged friends taking iPads up to campus and satisfying their need for connectedness. I cannot imagine my coworkers taking iPads on trips with them and getting any meaningful work done. I can’t imagine business users deciding they want to add iWork into their tech ecosystem.

Who is supposed to use it? When people are just sitting around with nothing to do, are they supposed to pick up the iPad and poke around? When people want to visit with friends or clients and show off their own projects, are they supposed to grab the iPad on the way out the door? Is the iPad supposed to be the new “laptop” for casual media consumers?

Are there that many people that just sit around with nothing to do? Are they that many people showing off content who don’t actually have the need to create it? I just don’t see it. There’s already a device people can use to poke around, show off media to their friends, and casually consume media. It’s the iPhone.

It’s sure been on mine.

I’ve never really been a big fan of my work situation. We’re a respectable company now (for the most part), but that doesn’t mean working there is a treat. My biggest complaint is that I just don’t feel valued in the position I’m in. That’s something that can’t be fixed by a raise, health benefits, or paid time off (all of which I would love to have). That’s something that can only be changed by changing the actual work environment – the culture of the workplace.

So on this day I’ve come up with a new year resolution (not a New Year’s one). By the end of the year, I will be in a better work environment.

Maybe the culture of my current position will shift. I’m not counting on it. Maybe one of my business idea will come to fruition and let me be financially viable on my own. I hope so. If nothing else, I’ll find myself a new place to log my 40 hours a week.

Why aren’t they more complacent? Why don’t they just go out into the work force and happily make their meager salaries? They’re just making things more difficult for people like me.

I’ve got skills. I’ve got a nimble, versatile mind that’s capable of tackling just about any task you’d want to through at me. But job-givers don’t want people with talent. Job-givers want people with degrees.

Don’t they know?

So now I have to decide. Do I devote my time to another venture and hope it pans out, or do I go along with the crowd and get another degree?

I’m thinking of an MBA, or a JD/MBA.

Personal Legend needs a new title. It could be Life Quest or Personal Vision or Grand Adventure or anything like that. I’d even take capital-p Purpose. Personal Legend is just too fantasy.

“But, David,” you say, “it is fantasy. A man cannot talk to the sun and cause the wind to blow just because he wills it.”

Right. You’ve got me there. But you can’t tell me you never felt the universe work for your good when you’re trying to accomplish something, or that you’ve never known something in your heart without knowing how you knew it. You can’t tell me you’ve never dreamt of doing something daring and life-changing, not matter how profound or simple that thing was.

Or can you?

Maybe you just need to pay more attention. I know I do.

My first mistake may have been to ever start blogging in the first place. My second was to switch venues whenever I got bored. Hopefully I can fix one of those by bringing everything together in this blog 2.0.

I read a blog a few days ago written by some guy in California. He wasn’t anyone special, but he’d been blogging for quite some time. He just told stories about his day and about his life, and after a few minutes I couldn’t help but all the stories in my life that weren’t getting told.

I want to write more.

Every post before this one is old, and I just copied it over as it was. From now on I’ll be telling my stories.